“Train Up A Child”
(Proverbs 22:6)
I. Introduction.
A. This evening I want to spend some time discussing a single
verse of the Bible. Of all the things we read in Word of
God, this verse may be responsible for more feelings of
frustration, and of guilt, than any other. Is a verse
associated with being a parent, which is true, but not
exclusively so.
B. The real focus of this verse is not the parent, but the child.
(RE-READ Proverbs 22:6).
1. Children are intended by God to be both a joy and
blessing in a home. (Psalm 127:3-5: “Behold,
children are a heritage of the Lord, the fruit of the
womb is a reward. Like arrows are in the hand of a
warrior; so are the children of one’s youth. Happy
is the man who has his quiver full of them: they
shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their
enemies in the gate.”)
2. If this is what God intended, what’s gone wrong for
many parents?
a. In a survey taken once, over 70% of the
responding parents said, if they had it to do
over again, they would not have children!
b. It’s possible, in fact likely, that those with
strong negative feelings were more inclined
to answer the survey question than contented
parents.
c. Even so, it’s the frustrations of parenting
that more often surface in conversations than
the rewards of raising children.
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C. A pediatrician wrote this: “There are two kinds of mothers
I like to help take care of their new babies. One is the
young mother who is living far away from her family.
When family members cannot overrule everything I say,
the new mother is more cooperative. The other is the
mother who has already had 7 or 8 children, then has
another one. By then, she’s willing to listen to anybody!”
D. In this lesson, I’d like to appeal to two groups, as well.
1. First, those with children already grown and away
from home. Are parents who wish they could “turn
back clock” and have children at home again.
Hindsight being as good as it is, they may see
mistakes (or supposed mistakes) they made and
would like to repeat process with better knowledge
and insight this time.
2. The other group are those with children still
growing. To be able to grasp principles of a verse
like Proverbs 22:6 can help us in what we’re trying
to do right now, as children mature and prepare for
life on their own, and home of their own.
3. But, also something here for everyone else: the
principles of God’s communication to us through
the Bible are helpful for all kinds of relationships.
II. Some Assumptions.
A. What is a common conclusion about this verse? It is often
assumed that parents have the exclusive, inescapable
responsibility to train their children and, if child goes astray
or does anything wrong, it’s proof parents have failed!
This brings on the guilt and frustration I referred to earlier.
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1. But, if this conclusion is correct, then we must also
agree other assumptions are true.
2. First, all children are alike. But, are they? Anyone
with more than one child already knows answer to
that.
3. Second, all parents are alike and use identical child-
rearing methods. No two people think, or act,
exactly alike and different parents have different
methods, and ideas, about bringing up children.
4. And, third, no other influences (outside of parents)
will affect a child in any way. You cannot isolate
children from other family members, friends, the
world. All help to influence and shape a maturing
mind. And, such influences often supersede what
parents are able to do.
C. If we can agree that there are significant variables,
differences, among children, parents, and methods, only
divine intervention could overcome all these factors and
guarantee uniform results. Evidence is clear that God does
not do that today, nor has he ever done so.
D. Even assuming that a child has been “properly trained,”
where does this verse say it is impossible for a person to
“fall away” from their religious faith as an adult?
1. Numerous Bible verses proclaim the possibility of
apostasy for any individual no matter how “strong”
they are spiritually. We never outgrow pressures
and influences that can lead us away from a life in
Christ.
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2. With certain teaching as part of our upbringing, we
may be better able to handle such pressures, or
resist them, by remembering what we were taught,
but, again, nothing is guaranteed. Only we can
insure our faithfulness when we become
responsible, accountable individuals.
E. We must look at Proverbs 22:6 for what it is, a “wise
saying,” but also one grounded in the truth of inspiration.
We must look at it as establishing mutual, not exclusive,
responsibilities for spiritual development. Someone, parent
or guardian, must take responsibility for a child’s spiritual
growth, but a child who matures into an adult must take
responsibility for not “departing from” the things learned.
III. Some Key Considerations.
A. In analyzing this verse, we must ask some important
questions – and reflect on some important considerations.
B. First, it says “Train up a child. . .”. What does it mean to
“train” someone?
1. It means more than just to teach, or give instruction.
2. The word used here is the Hebrew “Chanak” and it
literally means: “to put in one’s mouth.” In that
broader sense, it signifies laying the groundwork, or
foundation, upon which character is built. It’s
instilling principles that will form the qualities of a
person’s life from that time on.
3. While there is verbal instruction, the “training”
encompasses all the influences that contribute to a
child’s development: telling; example (or
showing); discipline; correction; guidance; advice;
these, all together, shape character of child.
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C. Who does such training? Parents are involved, especially
in the child’s earliest years when they are in the home
more. But, remember, parents are not specifically
mentioned in verse. Who else is a part of the child’s
“training?”
1. Grandparents (sometimes to a greater extent than
in past with more two-income families.)
2. Teachers – who may be more influential than
parents, especially as child gets older and spends
more time at school. Would also include Bible
school teachers here.
3. Also, peers and friends – who may come to rate as
the number one influence on a child. Makes
I Corinthians 15:33 such an important statement:
“Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good
habits’.”
4. Even neighbors, casual acquaintances. Everyone
children see and hear, and everything they see and
hear from all sources.
5. It’s easy to say: “Good parents should control these
influences,” but there are obvious limits to what
even “good parents” can do regarding such control.
D. Then, consider heredity and environment and the part they
play in growth process.
1. Apparently the surroundings in which child is
raised, and trained, are important. But, not the
complete answer, in itself, to question of why some
children do well, spiritually, and others do not.
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a. Children brought up in same home, under
same circumstances, can still be different.
(Example of Samuel in Old Testament. Was
raised in same environment as sons of Eli,
yet he turned out to be far different than they
did.)
b. On the other hand, we have examples of
people like Joseph and Daniel that indicate a
person can be good even in a bad
environment.
2. So, along with environment, we must consider
“heredity” (individual differences of children
themselves.)
a. Go back to verse itself: phrase “in the way
he should go. . .” could be translated from
Hebrew as: “according to. . . his way.”
What it says is the training is influenced by
the natural disposition, talents, character,
and personality of the child.
b. Some children, from very early age, are
compliant and easy-going in temperament.
Others are strong-willed, resistant, hard to
correct or control.
c. Personality distinctions make blanket
statements about how all children are, or
should be, impossible.
E. Then, what part does child have in the training? It is not a
one-way process. Training cannot be complete until the
child accepts it.
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1. I may give you something, but you don’t really have
it until you take it.
2. A teacher instructs, but student must learn. No
learning actually occurs until learner responds.
3. People can provide teaching, guidance, correction,
love – but all is futile if child does not respond
positively to process and accepts what is offered.
IV. Conclusion.
A. It is ironic that the person credited with writing this proverb
was example of what can happen in life despite the best of
backgrounds and training.
1. I Kings 11:4: “For it was so, when Solomon was
old that his wives turned his heart after other gods;
and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God, . . .”
2. Whose responsibility was it that “when [he] was
old” Solomon “departed from” his relationship with
God? David’s; Bathsheeba’s?
B. Cannot justify, or excuse, negligent parents who do nothing
to train children to grow into spiritually responsible adults.
But, can recognize that both parents and children have a
part in the process of training.
C. The goal of all spiritual instruction is still to lead a person
to a proper, obedient relationship with Heavenly Father.
Children cannot grow up in Christian homes if we, as
adults, don’t establish such a home and show our love for
God by obeying Him.