“Overcoming Grief”
(Psalm 38: 6-10)
I. Introduction.
A. David, in Psalm 38, expresses to God both a complaint and a confession. In
the order in which we have them in the Bible, this is the third penitential Psalm, where
the writer complains of physical distress, a feeling of abandonment, opposition from
enemies, and the injustice of being repaid evil for doing good.
1. The language is similar to that found in other
Psalms and it begins, and ends, with a plea to God
for relief, for His fellowship, and for salvation.
2. Between verses 6 and 10 we see how his burden
of grief affects him physically. His is no light
burden. He’s become as one who mourns. His
emotional condition has created physical problems,
so that “. . .there is no soundness in my flesh”
(verse 7), and he feels as though he’s aged and has
become feeble and perpetually worn out. His only
response is to “groan.”
3. In his grief, he appeals to God (RE-READ
verses 9, 10). David opens his inner self to God in
this time when nothing seems good or right, and
darkness has overshadowed his life.
B. Since evil, and the suffering it brings, are universal, so,
also, is grief. And, humanity’s carrying the burden of
grief has a long history, almost as long as mankind has
been upon the earth.
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1. The first man, Adam and the mother of all, Eve,
knew the aching pangs of grief. How must they
have felt when Abel’s lifeless body was discovered,
and the realization of what had happened came to
them. Not only did they lose one son to death, but
Cain was banished to another part of the earth.
2. And how much greater the burden of grief may
have become when they saw that their own
disobedience to God had opened the door of sin,
suffering, and death.
3. Along with grief – or as part of its burden – there
can also be guilt.
C. In the play “Much Ado About Nothing”, William
Shakespeare has one of the characters say: “Every man
can master a grief but he that has it.” People have advice
for those who are grieving, but cannot overcome their own
misery, and sorrow, and guilt.
1. Grief is an insistent, tenacious, emotional condition.
It’s not something easily cast off.
2. But, what is “grief?” One definition: “mental
suffering from bereavement, remorse, or the like.”
To put it another way, grief is the pain and suffering
of the mind.
3. As David wrote: “my sorrow is continually before
me.” (Psalm 38:17).
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II. The Bible’s Answer To Grief.
A. As no one who lives – or lives long enough – escapes the
burden of grief, so Jesus knew of this in His earthly life. In
fact, long before His appearance among people, it was
prophesied: “He is . . . a Man of sorrows and acquainted
with grief.” (Isaiah 53:3).
1. Examples of fulfillment of this prophecy are many.
But Jesus’ grief was not for Himself, not because of
His own sin, but because of the sinfullness and
guilt – and lack of remorse – of others.
(e.g. Matthew 23:37-38; READ).
2. And who can think of Gethsemane, and not think of
Jesus’ burden of grief, almost too much to bear?
Here, Jesus felt alone, separated from even His
closest disciples, facing a most horrible death. On
that terrible night, the apostles found escape from
their anxieties in sleep; but, their Master, the
world’s Savior, had to remain awake to carry the
burden of grief alone.
B. Grief is not unique to any one person or group of people.
It is not unique to any one generation of people. And the
Bible approaches the nature of grief, and the problems of
life and death, from a realistic perspective. The Bible also
gives us the universal answer to overcoming grief. As we
consider that answer, recall the words of apostle Paul, in
I Corinthians 15:19: “If in this life only we have hope in
Christ, we are of all men the most pitiable.”
1. There is really only one true answer, only one
lasting alternative, to overcoming grief. There
must be hope of something better, of something
different than the oppressive emotional weight we,
at times, all carry. That hope, that light in the
darkness, is in Christ.
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2. To rise above grief means we have to have
something to rise to. To carry the burden of
grief, we have to have someone to share the
weight.
C. If the totality of our life, and its meaning, are in this world,
then we carry the burden of grief with no real prospect of
anything different, or better. When we make Christ the
focus of life, when we make God’s desires our aim in life,
it doesn’t miraculously eliminate all pain, all guilt, all grief.
But, it makes it possible for us to bear these things,
knowing they are temporary and that we have hope, if not
physically, then spiritually.
1. II Corinthians 4:16 – 5:2 (READ).
2. When our focus is right, we can emerge from a
period of grief stronger than we were before,
perhaps more patient, certainly with greater
understanding because of the experience; more
thankful to God and appreciative of those who
supported us in our time of need.
3. No one can make a brief in favor of pain and
suffering, but the fact of the matter is that what
we consider to be the highest and most admirable
human qualities, both in ourselves and others, are
often related to the way that we react to, confront,
overcome, and frequently succumb to pain,
suffering and death. In the absence of these human
evils there would be no sympathy, compassion,
courage, heroism, solidarity, or strength of
character. A person who has not confronted
suffering or death has no depth. Our ability to
experience these emotions is what connects us
potentially to all human beings, both living and
dead. (Francis Fukuyama – “Our Post Human
Future”)
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4. Overcoming grief gives us the opportunity to help
others to do the same; to give hope to the hopeless,
help to the helpless, and strength for carrying the
burden of grief by sharing it with them.
III. Practical Suggestions.
A. Dr. M. Norval Young once suggested six (6) ways to
overcome grief. They correspond to, and elaborate upon
the answer we found in the Bible. They represent a
practical application of biblical principles.
1. First, accept the sympathy of other graciously.
Sometimes they will not know how to express
themselves well, but their love is sincere and you
help them, and yourself, in leaning on them for a
time.
2. Recognize that the pain will grow more bearable.
The pain of sorrow is acute, but time will help, or,
rather, we should say God will help, and He uses
time to heal our hurts.
3. Third, turn to the Bible with renewed thirst.
Someone has said, “I opened the old, old Bible, and
looked at a page of Psalms ‘til the wintry sea of my
troubles was soothed as by summer calms; for the
words that have helped so many, and the ages have
made more clear, seemed new in their power to
comfort, as they brought me their word of cheer.”
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4. Four, utilize the power of prayer. In the words of
Frank L. Cox, “Divine comfort is greatly needed.
Hearts are broken, bowed down with sorrow, filled
with fear. Anxiety, bereavement, and temptation
beset us. A humble prayer to ‘the God of all
comfort’ brings relief, binds up the broken heart,
lightens the burden.” Through prayer Jesus found
relief and obtained strength to face the foe.
5. Fifth, be even more faithful in worship. Some
people make the mistake of withdrawing from
the world and of closing the blinds and locking
the door. The wise person knows that worshipping
with others who have suffered will help him. He
knows that grief is a common denominator and that
the solace of worship will be especially helpful at
this time.
6. And, sixth, look out and see others who need your
help. Work is a blessing when we need to
overcome sorrow. There is no substitute for getting
busy helping others.
B. Now, let’s combine the biblical answer to overcoming grief
with the practical suggestions: (Philippians 4:13: “I can do
all things through Christ who strengthens me.”)
IV. Conclusion.
A. We come back to place where we started. (READ
conclusion of Psalm 38 (verses 21-22). His grief fully
spoken of, the Psalmist prays to God for three things
(refer to underlined portions of verses). The language
combines the longing for relief with the confidence of
“I trust.”
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B. (Illust.)
“Saved, Alone!” This was the cablegram which Horatio
Gates Spafford, author of the hymn, “It Is Well With My
Soul,” received. It meant that his four children had gone
down to a watery grave in the mid-Atlantic, and that his
wife only had been rescued. In the deep sorrow he was
wondrously sustained by the God of all grace. Out of his
sorrowing heart, he gave to the world the great hymn of
assurance:
“When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows, like sea-billows, roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul!”
My sin – Oh, the bliss of this glorious tho’t –
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more:
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
And, Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll,
The trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend,
“Even so” it is well with my soul.